Tales of Two Snakes
by Flamepaw
Summary: Who doesn't love George and Martha? I think we need more of then, so I wrote some side stories about their going ons! Please Read and Review! George would also like some rats.
1. Rat tails and Lint?

**This is a story about two of my favoite charaters, George and Martha! I wrote this out like a play and really hope you like it! Please tell me what you think about it in a review.**

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_George and Martha wake up next to Hermes' bed. Hermes is still asleep._

Martha (_sings_): _Good Morning to you! Good morning to me! Good morning!_

George: How can anyone have a good morning with that racket?

M: You just don't understand the fine arts, like my singing.

G: Singing! Is that what that was? I thought Hermes got his finger jam in the copying machine again.

M: I would like to see you try singing. It's harder than it looks.

G: I don't welcome in the morning by singing.

M: Then what do you do?

G: I'll show you

M: George, what are you doing? Wake up!

G: Will you be quiet? I'll trying to welcome the morning!

M: But you're falling asleep!

G: Exactly!

M: But doesn't make any sense!

G: Neither do rats, but you still eat then!

M: You're impossible!

G: Why, thank you!

M: What now? We have a few more minutes until Hermes wakes up.

G: Do you want to see my rat tail collection?

M: Umm no.

G: Why not? It's the largest collection in the world.

M: That's because no one is as gross as you are.

G: You're just jealous.

M: Wait a second, where do you keep these rat tails?

G: In Hermes' back pocket.

M: Does he know about this?

G: Maybe…don't tell him.

M: I'm telling!

G: No!

M: Yes, I am!

G: You can't!

M: Why not?

G: BECAUSE!

M: Because why?

G: Because... Hermes will throw them out if he finds them.

M: Serves you right for making fun of my singing!

G: If you tell Hermes about my rat tails... I'll tell him about your lint collect!

M: What lint collection?

G: The one you keep behind his ears.

M: How did you find out about it?

G: I saw it when Hermes was yelling us about the extreme nectar diving.

M: You mean the time we went diving in the Golden Nectar fountain at Olympus?

G: Yea… Good times. Good times.

M: Why didn't Hermes tell Zeus not to drink the nectar afterwards?

G: Are you kidding? Would you tell the King of Gods, Mr. Lightning Bolt himself, that your pet snakes swam in the nectar you just drank? Can you say KA-BAM?!

M: I guess. Especially after what you did to it.

G: Yea, I don't think I should have drunk all that carrot juice before we went swimming.

M: I told you, you can't drink or eat anything thirty minutes before you go swimming, you cramp up.

G: And other reasons...Ouch! Just the memeory hurts! My tail was cramp for like a week.

M: Don't be a Drama Snake.

Hermes: Will you two be quiet? I'm trying to sleep in!

M: Sorry Herms!

G: Yea, we're sorry master.

M: Stop brown nosing George!

G: What are you talking about? My nose is green!

M: That's not what I meant!

G: Then why are you talking about brown stuff for?

M: Nevermind!

G: I can list lots of brown stuff! Dirt, Root beer, mud, poop!

M: GEORGE!

Hermes: That's it! I'm up!

M (_sings_): _Good morning to you! Good morning-_

G: Not that again!

Hermes: Will you two stop it before I turn you into mice.

G: The furry kind or the computer part?

M: Does it matter?

G: Yes, in fact, it is very important! I don't want to be tempted to eat myself.

Hermes: Thank you for sharing that with us, George. Hey, what's this stuff behind my ears!

M: Nothing…

G: It's lint!

H: Yes. Why is it behind my ears?

G: Because it LOVES you!

H: THAT'S IT! I have had it up to here with you two!

M: Now Hermes! Remember what Demeter said about your ichor pressure.

G: Yea dude, relax. Count down from ten.

Hermes: Yea, you guys are right. It's just I have been under a lot of pressure lately...

M: It's ok Hermes. Just take it slow…10…9…8

H: 7...6…5…

G: 3..2…rats

H: What?

G: Everything ends with rats.

M: Mmm rats!

H: Alright I'll go get your breakfast.

_Hermes walks away._

M: Hey, George

G: Yea Martha?

M: It's not lint…

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**George and Martha would greatly love it if you review for them, so go on. Press that little green button.**


	2. True Love

George: Hey Martha…

Martha: Yea George?

G: I have something very important to ask you….

M: Really?

G: Yep.

M: Well, what is it?

G: Um… It's… It's kind of hard to say…

M: Why is that?

G: It's kind of emotional.

M: Really?

G: Yea, and I feel really deeply about this too.

M: Oh George! I didn't know you could.

G: Yea, well, it can happen sometimes

M: Yea, like when Aphrodite gives out beauty comments

G: Hey! Well anyways …Martha…

M: It's ok, George I think I know what you are going to say.

G: Really?

M: Yea… And I want to tell you I feel the same way.

G: Really?

M: Of course George! Where would I be without you?

G: Yea, you're like my salt to my pepper. The cheese to my macaroni. The root to my beer!

M: The nectar to your ambrosia?

G: Yea! Good one.

M: Why thank you!

G: The red and green lights of the stop lights of life!

M: Oh George that's so sweet! Hey who's the yellow light?

G: Why, Hermes of course!

M: But the yellow light is in between the Red and green.

G: Yea, well Hermes is pretty annoying…

M: Anyways! You were saying.

G: Oh yea! Cake and milk! Rat tails and more rat tails!

M: No George, before that

G: What? Oh alright. It's just; I don't want things to be weird between us. We have known each other far so long.

M: Yea, I know.

G: Like millions and millions and millions and…

M: Ok! I'm not that old!

G: I just don't want things to change between us.

M: Oh George. Things will never change between us.

G: Is that true?

M: Of course! There is nothing you can do that will make me feel differently about you.

G: I'm really glad to hear that from you.

M: I'm just glad you finally got enough courage up to finally tell me

G: Well…I was pretty scared about your reaction

M: Why?

G: Well, you can over react sometimes

M: WHAT?

G: See…

M: George I do not overreact!

G: Whatever you say…

M: No, don't you whatever me!

G: I'm sorry Martha! I'm just trying to tell you something important.

M: Something important…oh yes. Well, George?

G: Well, Martha. Are you sure you are ok with this?

M: Of course! Why wouldn't I be?

G: Well, it is a big change.

M: Yes, it is'

G: A new view on life

M: You could say that…

G: It's just… I have been feeling really restless and I think I am ready for a change

M: I can understand that

G: And who knows what Hermes will say

M: Oh, who in Hades cares what Hermes will say?

G: Well, this involves him too

M: It does?

G: Of course! He will have to learn to react differently

M: He will?

G: Yea, but I'm sure he will learn. But you know what they say about old gods…

M: George!

G: Yea, well the important thing is that you agree

M: I agree! I agree!

G: That's great! So are you going to move?

M: What?

G: Are you going to move?

M: I'll repeat it, What?

G: We can't do this if you don't move

M: What are you talking about?

G: We better hurry up before Hermes shows up. I want to see if he will notice the difference

M: Why? What?

G: Martha, I thought we agreed about this

M: George, what are you talking about?

G: What am I talking about? What do you think?

M: Well… I thought….you were going to tell me that you…..

G: What?

M: What were you asking me?

G: I was just asking you to switch sides on the caduceus

M: WHAT!?

G: Yea, I was getting tired of always being on the left side

M: But…but…

G: But?

M: I thought….

G: Yea?

M: I thought you going to say that you love me

G:….

M: George?

G: I thought you already knew that.

M: So you do?

G: Yea, we are kind of stuck together…

M: That doesn't you have to love me.

G: That's what you say…

M: So do you or do you not?

G: Of course you're my cheese to my nachos….

M: George you don't have to do that again

G: Ok…

M: I thought you hated me

G: I do.

M: WHAT!

G: I mean… I love to hate you

M: What!

G: No, no, no I mean I love to hate you by loving you in a hateful way

M: Oh George, that's so sweet, I think…

G: I mean it in the best way

M: Well George, I love to hate to love to hate to love you in a non hating loving way.

G: Thanks Martha that's the nicest thing anyone has very said to me

M: You're very welcome George

G: So Martha?

M: Yes George?

G: Can I have the right side?

M: Don't even think about it.


	3. The Lint Ball Returns!

George: Martha, I'm thinking about changing my name.

Martha: Not again…

G: What do you mean?

M: You have changed your name, like a zillion times.

G: Zillion isn't a number

M: Yes it is!

G: No, it's not

M: Oh, how would you know? You can't even count to ten!

G: Sure I can!

M: Prove it!

G: Fine! 1, 2, 3, 6...

M: You forgot 4 and 5.

G: I was just going to say 4!

M: So? Four goes before five, then six

G: You mean they have an order?

M: Of course, you think you can say them in any order you want?

G: Well…

M: George, sometimes I worry about you.

G: Well don't! Now what were we talking about?

M: You telling me how great I am.

G: No I wasn't! I only do that on Tuesdays. Something to do with rats….Oh yes! I want to change my name.

M: What does that have to do with rats?

G: Everything involves rats!

M: Oh, yes, I forgot. So what? You're changing name to Rat?

G: Good idea but no… I was thinking something Spanish like Ricardo!

M: Um no!

G: Come on! It will be great! Then you get to roll you r's every time you say my name.

M: I do like rolling my r's….no, it would never work.

G: What about Bob?

M: No, there is already a Titian renamed Bob.

G: Oh come on! The Titans get all the good names.

M: Or the Gods. That's why they don't change their names as much we do.

G: Yea... Remember when we called Very and Noying

M: Yea, Hermes called us that a lot. Sometimes I think he gets confused because he still calls us that sometimes. How about Elizabeth and James?

G: Oh yea! That was in England! Which one was I?

M: Elizabeth.

G: You know it is really annoying that we have to change our names. If we could only get two really great ones we wouldn't have to.

M: Yea, well that's what we get for not being gods.

G: That's it Martha! We should become Gods!

M: How do we do that?

G: Well, are already immoral, so I guess we just have to find something to be a God of.

M: Which should we be?

G: Oh, I don't know. You would be a great Goddess of Screaming

M: Hey!

G: Then you think of something I can't do all the brain work!

M: No, if you did your head would explode.

G: Maybe I could be the God of the Internet!

M: George for the last time, Hermes invented the Internet!

G: Well, it was my idea!

M: Well, you could be the God of lies!

G: But you would be such a good one.

M: I can't be a God! I would have to be a Goddess

G: Oh yea…Darn it!

M: I would want to be the Goddess of something fun, like Dr. Pepper!

G: Dr. Pepper?

M: Yea, I love Dr. Pepper.

G: I thought Hermes banned you from drinking that stuff because of what happen at the winter party.

M: Hey! Dionysus' hair looks better that way!

G: I have it! We could be the God and Goddess of rats!

M: Great idea George!

G: Yea, that we could turn anything into rats and eat them!

M: One problem with that.

G: What?

M: No arms.

G: Darn my armless body! We could use our tails.

M: Perhaps…maybe we can ask Zeus for arms too. The other gods can change their shape so we should be able to.

G: Yes! But since we are going to be gods now we will have to get really good names now.

M: What's a really good name?

G: I don't know. How did we choose George and Martha again?

M: It's the names of the first lady and president of America.

G: Oh yea…the old white dude on the dollar.

M: Yea him. I really like the name Martha. It's a great name.

G: That's it!

M: What?

G: It is a great name!

M: So?

G: And George is a great name!

M: Yes, I guess it is.

G: So I should change my name to Martha and you can be George!

M: What?

G: Yea, it will be great!

M: George!

G: Call me Martha, George

M: Martha, that is ridiculous.

G: Let's ask Hermes. HERMES!

Hermes: If you got your lint ball stuck to the ceiling again it's staying there!

G: Hey Hermes what do think about us getting new names and become gods?

H: Is he serious?

M: I'm afraid so.

G: It's a great idea! See, I will be Martha, God of rats and rat tails! And Martha will be George, Goddess of rats and Dr. Pepper!

H: Yea, I'm walking away now.

G: So you will run it by Zeus next time we visit?

M: Don't forget to ask about the arms too!

_Hermes leaves the room._

G: HOLY RATS ON FIRE! What just hit me?

M: SQUEE! My lint ball finally came down from the ceiling

G: I thought you said it wasn't lint

M: It's not.

G: Ok, then.


End file.
